teashop humor


Completely off the Topic of Tea

teashop humor

Postby jogrebe » Jun 11th, '06, 15:21

I've been toying with the idea of writing a parody of the Monty Python cheese shop sketch as a tea shop but I'm having trouble coming up with the names of enough "real teas" to make it happen and if at all possible I'd like to avoid to having to use herbal. Also the more odd sounding teas like "Chinese Gunpowder tea" and "Yak Butter tea" would be great because not only are they real but others who don't know much about tea might think its a joke. Anyway if I get enough help to make this a reality I'll be sure to either post the finished product or a link to it here so other can read it.
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Postby peachaddict » Jun 11th, '06, 17:48

Wait, do you want names of real teas that sound totally off the wall or fictitious tea names that sound totally off the wall? If you want real ones, I can look something up. If you want something made up...give me a few weeks. Come on, everyone, give the man some help in his desperate hour of need!!!

P.S. Congrats on wanting to do a tea-related Monty Python spoof...this should like totally rule :D
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Postby MarshalN » Jun 11th, '06, 19:17

Oriental Beauty, Whitehaired silver needle, Yellow Mountain Hairy Peaks, Big Red Robe, Water Golden Turtle, White Chicken Crown, Phoenix Single Bush, Bamboo Leaves Green, Jade Dew, Iron Luohan, Iron Goddess of Mercy, Green Snail Spring, Meat Osmanthus...

The list goes on. Literal translations of Chinese tea names works wonders
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Postby jogrebe » Jun 11th, '06, 21:38

Wow thanks for such a large list so quickly Marshaln.

Peach, I thought that it would be funny to use only real teas that sound strange as a bit of a second layer to the joke that pretty much only hardcore tea drinkers would realize that it uses only real tea, as other people would probably think some of the names were made up to sound strange. I have a feeling that the Monty Python cheese shop did the same thing as I started using the Internet to search for them for the first half of the sketch and every tea I didn't recognize turned out to be real when I looked it up.
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Postby jogrebe » Jun 11th, '06, 21:52

UPDATE (thanks Peach)

It turns out that every cheese except for two in the cheese shop sketch are real according to this analysis someone did on it.
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Postby Richard » Jun 12th, '06, 10:19

As the one who told me about Worm Poop Pu-Erh, you have to include that, of course.
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Postby klemptor » Jun 12th, '06, 10:38

Hairy Crab oolong.
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Postby Chip » Jun 12th, '06, 16:01

...monkey picked tgy...precious eyebrows...

Marshal is right, the list is endless, all you need are direct translations.
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Postby rij73 » Jun 14th, '06, 22:25

you've gotta do this! so funny... :D
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Postby Darth Jeeling » Jun 16th, '06, 00:02

great idea -
pity someone beat me to it for the cheese analysis, I could have told you about Venezualan Beaver Cheese.

And here's an excerpt of another Monty Python sketch:

"FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
A cup o' cold tea.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Without milk or sugar.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Or tea.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In a cracked cup, an' all.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
"

:D
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Postby Darth Jeeling » Jun 16th, '06, 00:05

And the lumberjack sings about it:

(I think I've got this right):

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I eat me lunch,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesday's I go shopping,
and have buttered scones for TEA.

Yes, well, I'd better stop now, no telling how long this could go on! :D
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Postby jogrebe » Jun 16th, '06, 01:33

Darth Jeeling wrote:And the lumberjack sings about it:

(I think I've got this right):

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I eat me lunch,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesday's I go shopping,
and have buttered scones for TEA.

Yes, well, I'd better stop now, no telling how long this could go on! :D


How could you stop short of the "I cut down trees, I wear high heels Suspenders and a bra." which so many people think is the best line of the song?
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Postby jogrebe » Jun 16th, '06, 01:51

rij73 wrote:you've gotta do this! so funny... :D


Don't worry its already in progresses ...
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Postby Carnelian » Jun 16th, '06, 11:37

LUMBERJACK SONG! I haven't heard that since last week when my school friend wouldn't stop singing it. Also, being a Minnesotan that sustains on tea, cheese and british humor this pardoy is a great idea to me
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Postby Darth Jeeling » Jun 26th, '06, 22:06

[quote="jogrebe"]
How could you stop short of the "I cut down trees, I wear high heels Suspenders and a bra." which so many people think is the best line of the song?[/quote]

I'll have to take you up on that one and insist that i remember that he says 'suspendees' :P

Ah, tea, cheese, and British humour - the four elements! And the fourth element: There Is [b]No[/b] Fourth Element

caught the Python reference, anyone?
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