A bit of experimentation should reveal methods that work well for y'all.
Personally, I heat the water in a vessel other than the one in which I'll be doing the steeping (which can be anything from a kettle on the stove to my solar tea water heater [no, not kidding]). If I can get the water near but not meaningfully over 180*F (your tea's preferred temp may vary), I'm solid.
Then I fire up the "tea timer" program on my Treo, as I have the attention span of Kiki the ferret, and pour the water into my steeping vessel (usually my new ingenuiTEA these days) where the leaves can mill about freely with room to expand.
The third vessel is just some arbitrarily-chosen cup. If pouring from the ingenuiTEA, I just let it drain the water through the infuser in the bottom. Otherwise, I'll pour the tea through some fine screen that keeps the leaves out of the cup.
Alternately I'll skip half these steps and sip the tea through a bombilla used for drinking yerba, but that's a different episode.