THE FIRST EVER APOCALYPTIC END OF THE WORLD POTTERY SALE
There will be gnashing of teeth. There will be bleeding of genitals. There will be crying of children. There will be flaming vampire skulls.
THERE WILL BE DISCOUNTED TEAWARE!
Some of you scoff. Some of you say: "Hogwash!" "Bologna!" "Poppycock!" "Outdated, Over-the-Top Expletive!"
Well, scoff if you must, but you can't deny the simple fact that all the signs of the Apocalypse have already surfaced. Giant hurricanes, political unrest, a global economic meltdown, that Honey Boo-Boo show, earthquakes, MEN drinking Berry Basil Blast white tea...yes, I'm afraid it is already upon us.
The Mayan, the Hopi Indians, the Mesopotamians, and the Vikings; these were ALL ancient civilizations...
What will you do on your final night as a living human? How will you seek spiritual shelter? The answer folks, my teaware. That's right, for a limited time I'm infusing each piece of my pottery with the talismanic power necessary to protect you while the death hawks are falling from the crimson skies. These finely crafted ceramics (and after the night is through, possibly the world's only ceramics) are personally guaranteed to have the magical fortitude to protect you from the eternal torment of Lucifer's dominion!
Delight in your sencha's umami with one of my guinomi as the the Four Horseman ascend upon the earth!
Enjoy your matcha in one of my peaceful chawan while you ignore the screams of the innocent running for their lives in the streets just outside your tearoom!
Marvel at the warm feel of my yunomi, and not the hell fire that engulfs the world outside!
Safely brew a lengthy session of your favorite pu erh while there are earthquakes that swallow sinners all around you.
The possibilities are endless if you act, the consequences are eternal if you don't.
Oh, and it's Christmas!
You can insure your survival here http://www.GREENWOODSTUDIO.Etsy.com
saving your soul and 15%! Use coupon code "HELLHOUNDS" at checkout, now until The End (Dec. 21st)
Thanks and good luck to you all....