how not to brew tea

Completely off the Topic of Tea


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Jun 1st, '06, 16:06
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how not to brew tea

by jogrebe » Jun 1st, '06, 16:06

I hope this person was joking with their goal to drink tea like a "real man", as they defined it as "pouring scolding water over my face, snorting the tea bag and crushing the tea pot against my forehead".

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Jun 1st, '06, 17:18
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by klemptor » Jun 1st, '06, 17:18

I predict this will sweep the nation, eliminating both meatheads and teabags in one fell swoop.

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Jun 1st, '06, 17:36
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by Richard » Jun 1st, '06, 17:36

That's actually how I drink tea, since I'm a Real Man and all.

Seriously!

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Jun 1st, '06, 18:01
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by jogrebe » Jun 1st, '06, 18:01

Really Richard? Could you make a video tutorial to teach us "not real men" how to brew tea like a real man?

As for me I'm content to learn how to brew tea like a Chinese man gongfu style, which will hopefully happen soon.

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Jun 1st, '06, 18:20
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by Richard » Jun 1st, '06, 18:20

Joe! You can't teach someone to be a Real Man. You have to live it! It's like Buddhist enlightenment. Any fool can read a Koan solutions book--to really understand the nature of things, you have to contemplate for years.

So I'm afraid that a video tutorial, while it would be a hit on Youtube, would not be too helpful. I'll just be content in being Real-Manlier than you. I'm sorry it has to be this way!

(Of course, a real Real Man spells "scalding" right. Just sayin'. That guy is an amateur.)

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Jun 4th, '06, 13:03
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by teaspoon » Jun 4th, '06, 13:03

*shakes head and sighs* Boys...

Teahee...

~tsp

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Jun 4th, '06, 13:21
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by jogrebe » Jun 4th, '06, 13:21

Richard, are you implying that Chinese men are not "real men" because they brew their tea gongfu style instead of the "real man" style described above?

Jun 6th, '06, 12:19
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by jzero » Jun 6th, '06, 12:19

jogrebe wrote:Richard, are you implying that Chinese men are not "real men" because they brew their tea gongfu style instead of the "real man" style described above?


As long as they drink the wastewater from the tray and smash all stoneware on their heads, they still count as Real Men (TM). Bonus points for eating the shards.

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Jun 6th, '06, 13:02
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by Richard » Jun 6th, '06, 13:02

That's correct. While being a Real Man differs from culture to culture, we all respect each other and know that we're all tough.

We show that respect by beating each other up!

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Jun 6th, '06, 14:03
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by jogrebe » Jun 6th, '06, 14:03

Ok ... are any of you "real men" man enough to travel to China to call out the typical Chinese gentlemen and tea masters Schwarzenegger style as being girlie men because they don't drink their tea properly like a real man should? Preferable to be done in crowded tea houses and other large group settings. Since we all know gongfu brewing uses a lot of rinse water that is discarded and that they they value well seasoned yixing teaware too much to even consider smashing it on their head.

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Jun 6th, '06, 14:16
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by Richard » Jun 6th, '06, 14:16

I'm doing that in July, actually. I've taken 6 months of karate, so I'm prepared.

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Jun 6th, '06, 14:43
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by jogrebe » Jun 6th, '06, 14:43

Wow a man of action willing to follow through with his convictions. May protection and safety from potential mobs of tea masters trying to stab you to death with the tea needles in their gongfu tea tool sets be with you.

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Jun 6th, '06, 15:29
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by Richard » Jun 6th, '06, 15:29

Wait a second.

Tea needles?

No one told me about tea needles...

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Jun 6th, '06, 16:32
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by jogrebe » Jun 6th, '06, 16:32

Right you heard it right tea needles which are part of the traditional gongfu tea tools. Pretty much a piece of bamboo or rosewood which has been sharpened to a long narrow point on one end. While its designed to clear up a teapot spout that has become clogged with tea leaves, I'm sure if there is enough angry gongfu tea brewers after you it could result in a real slow and painful death if they manage to surround and subdue you. Regardless as a real man thing like that shouldn't scare you. Right?

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Jun 6th, '06, 18:04
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by Richard » Jun 6th, '06, 18:04

...right. I guess my leathery skin could...um...protect me from the pokity needles...

But! The point is, my trip to China has been delayed indefinitely, due to tea-related commitments! So I'm afraid to say that it'll be a little while before I can post pictures!

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