Pretentiousness: A foodie's rant

[Geekgirl]

I occasionally wonder if avid tea enthusiasm comes off as pretentiousness to other people. This weekend I had an experience that really brought this back to mind.

I was up in Seattle this weekend visiting friends. The husband half of this couple is a self-confessed gourmand. His main hobby is searching for the unique and good experience in food, although being somewhat of a mystery to me how he defines what he considers unique and good. Friday night of my visit, he asked if I would like to try a "good" restaurant.

Apparently he finds my typical choices a bit lacking, which makes me laugh. (Background: I'm a very good cook, learned from real chefs, in restaurants, several different types of cuisine, natural affinity for spices and keeping meals elegantly simple. I've saved the day at a couple of dinner parties when the host/hostess was cooking food about which they didn't have a clue. IOW, I have a few pursuits at which other people think I am good, but I know I'm a rank amateur. Cooking is not one of these. I'm a helluva cook, and very confident about it.) My typical restaurant choices are anything from pub to fine dining, where the food is made of quality ingredients, well presented AND a good value for the type of restaurant. Simplicity, freshness and good service get the highest priority from me, followed by originality and complexity. Act like your place is the only place to get quality meals and the Holy Mother should be grateful for a table, and I'll throw the tiny little 15th century replica salt cellar in your soup tureen.

You can see where this is going...

In answer to his question (where to go for dinner,) knowing his tendency to equate price with quality, I told him no problem, except I expected to be able to get my dinner, one drink and tip for less than $50. I figured that in Seattle, this would land us squarely in a good steak/seafood house, I'd have a luscious filet and vegetable, and a glass of wine, and if I was lucky, a view of the sound.

WRONG.

The choice was a 5 table restaurant sandwiched in between a convenience store and a subway. The chef "used to work at 'blah blah blah' before he opened up this place to do his own thing." Some type of retro hiphop mashup was playing over the speakers, LOUD; of course the 15 or so patrons in the restaurant had to resort to screaming to be heard over the music. Since the floors and walls were the typical concrete and plaster of a convenience store, the din was unbelievable. The lighting was so dark, I could barely see the faces of my dining mates across the table... once we got a table. Oh yes, there was a 2.5 hour wait. Oh yes, you read that right. 2.5 hours. 150 minutes. I barely spent longer than that on the train to get there.

The food...

Well.

I really don't know what to say about that. I was a little flabbergasted at the menu choices. Most of the descriptions sounded like the chef wrote a bunch of stuff on the wall then threw darts at it, but what do I know. Oh wait, that's right, I know cooking! The prices: The appetizer salad came in two sizes, an $11 size and $18. Entrees ranged from $17 - $46. No sweat on the price, I could certainly get out for under $50, and bonus, I wouldn't have to see my food because there were no lights!

Our helpful waiter finally arrived, asked if we had ever dined with them, and proceeded to inform us that the dining was family style and he recommended 2 selections per person. Whoa, wait a minute, my ticket just went from a minimum of $17 for my entree to $34? Well, at least that explains the $18 "appetizer" salad. He next tells us that food was brought as it was prepared so we "have time to savor the selections." That's right people, they do NOT bring it all out at once so you can have a proper meal. It dribbles out from the kitchen in bits and bobs over the next two hours. Well, at least we'd start with wine, bread and salad.

Salad comes, the $18 salad. It was on a salad plate (I rather expected a dinner plate at least, maybe a platter for $18,) it had perhaps 7 leaves of lettuce, and a little cheese, some chopped herbs. I couldn't tell if maybe there was gold dust on it? Because at that price, I expected some gold dust. I ate my one leaf, and waited for the bread.

Did I mention that they do not provide bread at this place unless you request it? I told our dinner host: "Tell the waiter I would like some bread.... please." They brought the bread, but if I wanted olive oil or butter, there would be a charge for that. I wanted to tell him to add it to my $18 lettuce leaf. Following this, there was a $22 octopus and clam appetizer that had 2 charred 4" octo tentacles, 4 tiny clams on the shell, and a couple of diced stewed tomatoes.

Dinner proceeded similarly. Our $46 guinea hen entree arrived. It was 1/2 a guinea hen. I wondered what the small $39 version was? A buffalo wing? Anyone who has had guinea hen knows it's just a small chicken, in fact you could substitute a small chicken and nobody but Julia Child would know. Actually, I've seen her eat, I doubt even she'd know. What's more, I doubt she'd pay $46 for 1/2 a guinea hen entree. She won't pay the kitchen to crack her lobster!

Needless to say, even with 10 astonishingly high cost and tiny plates of food among the 5 of us, plus wine, we were barely satisfied. Well, I was barely satisfied. The others were thrilled with the exclusivity of the place, and so "privileged" to have gotten in.

Total tab, before tip: $245.

After this (in my eyes) utterly ridiculous experience, I started wondering if tea obsession looks and feels like this to the outsider? Do our cupboards full of tiny packets of tea, and closets full of cakes and beengs look like absolute pretension? Are the tiny little pots and tea accessories merely ostentation to the people with whom we live, work and socialize?

I suspect the difference is that I don't feel like I force my tea or teawares on my friends and family. Although I do love to share the experience, my sharing does not cost them their hard-earned money in exchange for something they do not value. On the other hand, the $65 I parted with for that pompous grandiosity of a meal, let's just say that I did not part with the money happily or willingly. I felt like a fool who had been duped by a street performer's sleight of hand.

/rant

[scruffmcgruff]

Wow. Sounds like hipster dining at its "finest."

I often get the feeling that people think that way about us tea-heads. Whenever someone who knows about my hobby serves me tea, they always act like they should have to kiss my feet because they think their teas aren't worthy.

I guess I send the wrong message? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just trying to impress the elite of the internet tea world when I write on my blog, unconsciously alienating others in my failed attempts. I guess I should re-evaluate what's really important, eh?

Interesting post... not many ITD threads get me thinking this much, haha.

[joelbct]

(Background: I'm a very good cook, learned from real chefs, in restaurants, several different types of cuisine, natural affinity for spices and keeping meals elegantly simple.

If you are ever in this neck of the woods, you should try David Barber's 'Blue Hill at Stone Barns.'



From a recent article describing the restaurant: "Barber has taken the ideas of locavorism, nose-to-tail cooking, and farm-to-table to groundbreaking places, and in so doing he is laying the foundation for a truly different kind of restaurant-going experience with far-reaching implications. He's taken the Alice Waters–Michael Pollan ethos to a place no other chef has ever done, including Waters herself. "

It's on a working organic/biodynamic farm, the ingredients are exquisite (they also have very close relationships with the other farms they source from, which are nearly all small/organic), they can make simple greens or a pistou taste like heaven on earth. Best restaurant I've ever encountered... The NYTimes gave it 3 stars too (just ~15 restaurants in all of NY-metro area have 3 or 4 stars). Incredible place... 3-5 course meal and a drink and tip for one would be more like 80-150, but completely worth every penny.

[Sydney]

My oldest friend seems to think I'm a complete dick for whipping out my teaware.

There's a Vietnamese place I've frequented for years, where I'm served good food by people who've always been good to me. I recently asked if it would be okay for me to bring my own tea and setup and order hot water. The server didn't seem to feel this was unreasonable, and I took him up on the opportunity a week later.

My bud looked at me across the table and said, "If you'd pulled out that stuff anywhere else, I'd have said I don't know you and walked the *freak* out."

If that's my best bud for over twenty years, I can't imagine what they think of me at the office.

[Geekgirl]

From a recent article describing the restaurant: "Barber has taken the ideas of locavorism, nose-to-tail cooking, and farm-to-table to groundbreaking places, and in so doing he is laying the foundation for a truly different kind of restaurant-going experience with far-reaching implications. He's taken the Alice Waters–Michael Pollan ethos to a place no other chef has ever done, including Waters herself. "

I don't even know what that means! At $185 a head, I like to know what the descriptions mean! But I'm kinda gauche like that.

If that's my best bud for over twenty years, I can't imagine what they think of me at the office.

I have my tea stuff at my office, and I keep small cups on the tea tray on the chance that anyone wants to taste what I'm drinking. My clients think I'm a little weird, but the ones who have been with me for awhile are used to that. Most of them also want the taste of tea. Ha!

[joelbct]

I don't even know what that means! At $185 a head, I like to know what the descriptions mean! But I'm kinda gauche like that.

Well I'm so gauche I had to look up "gauche..." and I have a pretty good vocabulary I like think!

But um it means the food is unbelievably yummy... like "i'd-rather-eat-there-once-than-at-a-mediocre-restaurant-three-times-for-the-same-price" yummy...

[Victoria]

Come visit me and I'll take you here. I'll even treat!

http://www.theorangehillrestaurant.com/index.html

Just up the HILL from my house with breathtaking views and a filet that hard to beat.

[Sydney]

Come visit me and I'll take you here. I'll even treat!

http://www.theorangehillrestaurant.com/index.html

Just up the HILL from my house with breathtaking views and a filet that hard to beat.

So good Victoria literally started rhyming at the thought.

[Geekgirl]

Come visit me and I'll take you here. I'll even treat!

http://www.theorangehillrestaurant.com/index.html

Just up the HILL from my house with breathtaking views and a filet that hard to beat.

Oh YES! This is more my speed! That Ahi dish sounds fabulous! And the view! So nice that it's not the back of a concrete and rusted steel staircase.

[Victoria]

Ha! So I did!
I'm starving, let all meet up and have some chow!!

(Refrained from using "and how")

[scruffmcgruff]

From a recent article describing the restaurant: "Barber has taken the ideas of locavorism, nose-to-tail cooking, and farm-to-table to groundbreaking places, and in so doing he is laying the foundation for a truly different kind of restaurant-going experience with far-reaching implications. He's taken the Alice Waters–Michael Pollan ethos to a place no other chef has ever done, including Waters herself. "

I don't even know what that means! At $185 a head, I like to know what the descriptions mean! But I'm kinda gauche like that.

I'm with you. Oy vey! Isn't that article's writing the same sort of pretentiousness we were trying to avoid in the first place? Those New Yorkers.

(To be fair, though, the article does leave me salivating!)

[Space Samurai]

I guess I'm fortunate.

I don't know anyone here that I don't work with, and we're all in the specialty food business together. So even though they might not get the tea thing, there's at lesat a grudging acceptance of it, particularly since over the years I've proven that I know my shit, and passion for food is encouraged (it even counts for 1/6th of my performance reviews--being a tea snob actually helps me get better raises).

[chamekke]

I think the big difference is that most of us strive not to clobber other people over the head with scathing attitude re: their inferior tea standards. (Even if we think their range could use a bit of expanding.) Tea is supposed to be friendly, not snobbish. That's what I think, anyway, and if you disagree, you're wrong!

There's a young lad at my office who is really crazy for tea. I think he's just discovered loose tea, in fact; he's a bit evangelical about it. At a casual office get-together not long ago, he was telling people that tea was for people of superior taste and discrimination. I cringed with embarrassment for him. Well, sure, tea is wonderful and how great it would be if more people discovered its delights; but it's not a bleeding yacht race, for God's sake, it's not proof of breeding.

Ultimately, tea is about one's individual experience of flavour and ambiance - and often the camaraderie that accompanies sharing those things with others. It's about what people like, pure and simple; and if someone is content with Twinings Irish Breakfast and, on a fling day, a dash of Tazo Chai, I'm not going to act as if they just trod in some dog doo.

(I'm pretty sure I mixed a metaphor, there, but you get my drift.)

[fencerdenoctum]

Geekgirl,

Your story reminds me of a quote from a book I recently heard about. I think it was David Sedaris, "What horrible food, and there was so little of it!"

I've had similar experiences with people thinking I wouldn't like something because it wasn't loose leaf and expensive. One of the best teas I've had (and certainly surprised me) was from a bag that our lady Victoria sent me. I tell people all the time that it doesn't matter what tea they drink, as long as they like it. I do remind them that there is quite a variety out there and not to stagnate on trying new things.

As far as packing around tea stuff, there is more teaware on my desk than there is work. I feel sad when I have to move my teapot to put work on my desk.

On pretension- I drink tea wearing a top hat and monocle.

Fencer

[ABx]

The Tao of Tea had a great little excerpt that I thought was great, and one paragraph in particular says it all, IMO:

In China, tea is a social process, a custom which involves not just the herbal or medicinal values of tea but social engagement. Guests are always served tea, no matter the time of day. Accompanying the tea are small dishes to enhance the tea and stimulate conversation among friends or guests. Besides just drinking tea, tea leaves are appreciated for flavor and texture and tea liquid is used to infuse cuisine with color, flavor and texture.

Here's the whole article for anyone interested.

I think it just depends on where your focus is. While I think a person could easily be pretentious about tea, and I've met some, it's more often a way of breaking away from the pretensions of everyday life and a tool to find common ground. If you were to be really showy and snobbish and controlling about the tea experience then it could easily turn into a pretentious affair, but if you're more focused on the social aspects then I wouldn't think so (of course that may be easy for me to say...).

Of course there will always be some that feel that it is from the outside, and some that will have associations with snobby Europeans with their pinkies in the air, but I don't know if there's much you can really do in those cases.

Perhaps I'm just lucky that my friends have thus far just been interested - they just have to put up with my obsessiveness.